Wednesday, 17 December 2014

M I L E S T O N E S

     On December 1st, we celebrated two years of marriage. Two years. Two years of sharing everything. Moments of joy. Laughter so hard that we could barely breathe. Those mornings when he left for work and no sooner had he closed the door that I wished he were home for supper. Sharing a bed, one car, one cell phone, one bank account, one income. Sleepless nights whispering prayers in each other’s arms. Sharing tears and those times when the hurt was so raw that all we could do was silently hold each other. Baring the deepest dreams and scars of our hearts to the other. Believing in each other and encouraging each other to try new things.
     If you were to ask me what the most wonderful thing about marriage has been, I would tell you that is has been the companionship, the togetherness of it all. We are not alone. We are in this marriage as a team, sacrificing for the good of our spouse, and believing in each other no matter what happens.There is a beautiful loyalty in this marriage, when I know he will stick with me, no matter what. Experiencing life together has been absolutely incredible. I love how my husband shows me the heart of Jesus every day.
     When Jon and I began our relationship, I used to fear that as he got to know me better, and began to travel the mysterious depths of my heart, I wondered if he would be repulsed at what he saw. At the real me. With the courage that characterizes so much of the man my husband is, he kept pursuing and loving me no matter what. Marriage hasn't changed that about him, and trust me--marriage brings a whole new level of “getting to know each other”. As humans, I believe our greatest fear is being alone, but our second greatest fear is being known. As a woman who has been chosen, known, and still loved; it is the greatest gift my husband could give me.


     For our anniversary, my husband booked a room at a lovely hotel, and we enjoyed some time away from all the busyness of life. We shopped and found some fabulous deals. We enjoyed butter chicken, biriyani, and naan bread at an east Indian restaurant [It tasted like a party in my mouth!].We relaxed in the hot tub. We watched our wedding DVD, and laughed as we saw our nervousness, fumbles, and the time that he tripped over my skirt as we walked down the aisle as man and wife. A lump rose in my throat as I heard him say his vows to me up there in front of our family and friends. I trusted him with my heart that he would stay true to those vows. Now I know he meant what he said. I cannot be grateful enough for my Godly husband.
     The next milestone was on December 15th, the day that I moved to Canada. How well I remember that day. It was so cold, people, so cold! I may have grown up in New York state, but nothing prepared me for that bitter, savage Manitoba cold and the wind that seemed to slice through your being. That road trip was the longest of my life, each mile taking me further away from my family and everything that was familiar to me. I cried. A lot. There was a border crossing, and paperwork, that we were apprehensive about. My new life stretched before me like the straight roads that traversed the flatness of the unfamiliar prairie land we drove through. Unknown, and kind of scary.
     That was then. Now, I look back and think, "Ignorance is bliss". I had no idea what our first year of marriage would hold, and I'm going to painfully honest with you here: it's a good thing I didn't know. Don't take this wrong--I would marry my Babe all over again. But had I known how difficult our first year of marriage would be, I would have approached our wedding day and the move up North with trepidation and fear, and that would not have helped anyone or anything. [Disclaimer: It's true that it just gets better, because our second year of marriage was so much better than our first.]
     I have learned much about people and myself by moving to another country and beginning to familiarize myself with cultures unlike my own. The culture shock was quite unexpected, because what country could be more like my native land than Canada, right? [perhaps I should say "eh"? *grin*] Everyone spoke English and they drove on the same side of the road as we did. I think that experience deserves another post, another time.
     Through all the changes in my life in these past two years, there is one thing that hasn't changed. One who has been my rock and the strength I needed to keep going. My husband? Ah, good guess. Even my husband has changed since we've gotten married. But Jesus hasn't changed at all. Even when I thought I couldn't feel Him, Jesus was there with me, sustaining me, His grace giving me just what I needed for every moment. I have found rest for my heart in cultivating an attitude of gratefulness and contentment. This journey is one of learning, really. Learning to trust Jesus to lead the heart of my husband and commit our every move to Christ. Learning to make Jesus my all-in-all. It hasn't been easy, and it never will be. The things in life that are truly worthwhile are not for the faint of heart, and they won't be easy. Our Lord has promised a yoke that easy, and a burden that is light. I am so thankful my Heavenly Father. He fills my soul with peace.
     To my readers who are married; what was your first year of marriage like? How did you deal with the changes and adjustments of marriage, and perhaps a new community? What would you do or say to encourage a new bride in the throes of these adjustments? Thank you in advance for your thoughts!
     Blessings to you!   
Mrs. Loewen
   
   

8 comments:

  1. I smiled to myself as I read because I know exactly what you mean about the first year of marriage, and then being able to look back at these milestones and see how much more 'together' we are than we were that first year. My favorite piece of advice for myself (and that I pass on to anyone who cares to hear) is to never, ever compare my husband or marriage to anyone else's. Period.
    p.s. You should write more...it's good to get to know you this way at least. =)

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    1. Good advice, Kerra! Wouldn't it be grand to sit and have a good marriage and child training chat? :) Valerie Beachy

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    2. Thank you, Kerra! That's a wonderful piece of advice, and one that is in my "file of good advice". It's so easy to compare, isn't it? :(
      I appreciate your encouragement. I may or may not have gotten in over my head with this blogging thing, but I will do my best to update as regularly as I can without letting this blog rule my life. :) Blessings to you!

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  2. Beautifully written!! Keep on fighting for your 'above average' marriage. You guys have something so special! 4 years for us and I'm still learning so much, but I am loving the journey! :) valerie

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    1. Thanks Valerie! We definitely are blessed with something special! Good examples like you & Dennis make it easier for us to keep working for what we have and to never let it become old and boring. We love you guys!

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  3. Love love love this post, dearie. This stuff is just straight from your heart + I just love that. Keep these posts coming...=)
    Hugs!
    -Chels

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  4. Marissa, dear, my daughter, this post brought tears to my eyes. We have pondered the thought if you had known would you have given up marrying Jon. No, no, no...there is a risk in the love journey but the beauty and bounties that come from the risk make the journey all worth it.
    Thanks for sharing your heart. These are words that bring comfort to others walking a similar journey. A post like this chases away the, "I'm the only one syndrome"
    This has been a journey in releasing you, my daughter. I too was ignorant in realizing the depth of the culture change in what seemed like it was similar.
    You and Jon are a dear and special couple not only because you are our children but because of the way you rely on Jesus and walk with Him.
    I love you,
    Your mother

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  5. I enjoyed your honesty and your victories in the journey of leaving home and family. I moved to Canada also with my "brand-new' husband...into the bush at Poplar Hill Residential School....working for Northern Light Gospel Mission. We were there together 2 years. Yep, I had to LEARN a lot of things. Too busy to go into detail, but maybe to you I will some day.

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